User blog:THEJJRAT/Canon: Spdromen

Prktery Paerker Woloams (also known as Poot) the third is a guy who was born in North Carolina when Zukro banged Cuptoon Jatpek. He is a firebender and part cow, though he has mastered the arts of spaghetti.

biography
When Zukro, king of the Fro Nation and son of the Freawifksa King of Jsosl, banged clone trooper Jatpek, they gave birth to a spaghetti. They licked it and it became a child. A strange baby child. He was PS2 graphics. They were disgusted and banished him to Hell. There, he was raised by Shrek the ogre, growing up as a bone farmer. However, after he dropped his lasagna on the Grim Reaper's robes, he was banished to the Second Dimension. There, he became a bounty hunter, going after cockroaches. However, his uncle appeared and got killed by a roach. He screamed and ate the roach, the roach becoming part of him. Now having the powers of a roach, he sought to fight the forces of evil (and roach) and was trained by Roachman and TV Head Roachman. However, after ten years of training, he was forced to murder an innocent business radroach trying to sell car insurance. He refused, killing the Roach Ninjas with flamethrowers and escaped to Noo Yik, in the regular dimension. He had taken with him a sidekick, named the Ghouldude, a glowing one who liked lasagna. He made a suit inspired by the mystical redroach of doom of Mount Doomdoom, and used his roach powers to produce roach juice in his wrists, using them to swing.

fighting crime
He began to fite crim with his fists of fury, usually going after the Paycheck gang and the dreaded El Pacecerino. However, he was also hunted by da poleese. They were on Bruk Wann's paycheck, a ruthless mob boss/owner of Wann-Tek and part time vigilante. And Bruk no like roachdude. Spdromen, however, nuked the police and continued crime fighting. A huge chunk of Noo Yik in radioactive ashes, a new generation of Evil Barneys arose from the ashes. They were led by Ereoekrkeol Bokny, an Evil Barney who liked to sing. He hunted down Paerker's girlfriend, Absinthe VBejej, and tied her up above a tank of acid. The acid would cook her along with expanding her flesh, allowing his minions to feast and become full, ready to take over the planet. However, Spdromen returned with an army of symbiotas and ghoul ninjas armed with super shotguns. They killed the Evil Barney army, until it was just Bokny left. Spdromen had an arm wrestling contest with Bokny, winning and banishing the Evil Barneys to the Thirteenth Dimension.

Hell invades Raxus Prime
Poot visited his left brother, Ass Woloams, on the planet Raxus Prime. Once he stepped foot in the scrap yard planet, he was attacked by giant radioactive ants and undead stormtroopers. Poot slaughters them with tire irons and attempts to find Ass. He soon finds Ass killing rocks with his chainsaw hand, also twerking. Suddenly, a portal to Hell invaded. Thousands of imps, revenants, Shrek galleries, succubi, and spider masterminds flooded the planet. Poot, with the help of Ass and a zombie trooper they named Taco Joe, fought the demon army with a soup spoon. The demons, however, overwhelmed them and attempted to attack them with fried chicken. This was until Charmer Boathouse appeared and ate them all with his right leg. Poot and Ass kissed the thicc cloaker goodbye and danced. However, Drumguy and demon companion Junior arrived in a red TARDIS, forged in the fires of Hell as a monument for the Drum Slooyer. They join in on the dance until they are teleported to the Nineteenth Dimension. There, they meet an ancient being known as the Poop Joe. An ancient being who was created to be eaten.

Ass notes that he saw Poop Joe in the Necronomicon. Poop Joe denies and tries to rip their legs off. Poot jumps in front of Ass and sucks Poop's left leg. As Poot had acid saliva, this made his leg explode. Then the SPC Fandango arrives and contains the being. They rejoice, until Poot discovers an injured succubus who smells like spaghetti sauce. He decides to secretly save her and train her to be the next Sprdomen.

Gakootic Empoweraer and the Vet Derek Skull
After the Raxus Prime incident, Poot had smacked a house fly, thus opening a portal to another galaxy. Out of it came a Stoor Dnestyer, filled with stormtroopers and Mexicans wielding taco blasters. They then teleported to Maeteri Noi, which was inhabited by bonkles. Be met Jail, a toe who protected the lands. Poot, after defeating a nest of stupid shreks with the help of Jail, fell in love with Jail. He murdered his former girlfriend Agent 47-style, and married Jail. Then, the Empoweraer appeared and asked Poot to the mountain of Spaghetti. There, they steal the Vet Derek Skull, a strange artifact that grants the user the ability to alter the fabric of the universe. Poot then turns all sunflowers in the universe into bowls of meatballs, and alters the history of humankind. Humans now originated from a tribe of Obama clones. He is now known as Cooosmek Spoerriem.